The Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get it… 
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere, the voice inside your head cries out – ENOUGH! 
Enough fighting and crying, or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes, you begin to look at the world through new eyes.  This is your awakening… 

You realize that it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world, there aren’t always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. 
You accept the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are… and that’s OK… they are entitled to their own views and opinions.

And, you come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a "perfect 10"…. or a perfect human being for that matter… and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. And, you take a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others. Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn’t do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it’s not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process, a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance. 
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process, a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realise that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the junk you’ve been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process, you learn to go with your instincts. 
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop manoeuvring through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a by gone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything; it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. 
You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love; and you learn that you don’t have the right to demand love on your terms, just to make you happy. 

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right, to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won’t settle for less. You allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with his touch and in the process, you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

Moving along, you begin to avoid toxic people and conversations. And you stop wasting time and energy rehashing your situation with family and friends. You learn that talk doesn’t change things and that unrequited wishes can only serve to keep you trapped in the past. So you stop lamenting over what could or should have been and you make a decision to leave the past behind. Then you begin to invest your time and energy to affect positive change.

You learn that "alone" does not mean "lonely" and you begin to discover the joy of spending time "with yourself" and "on yourself." Then you discover the greatest and most fulfilling love you will ever know. Self Love. And so it comes to pass that, through understanding, your heart heals; and now all new things are possible.

And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. Just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul; so you take more time to laugh and to play. 

You learn that for the most part in life, you get what you believe you deserve and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen, is different from working toward making it happen. 
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it’s OK to risk asking for help. 

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time; FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear, is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions, you learn not to personalise things. You learn that God isn’t punishing you or failing to answer your prayers; it’s just life happening.

You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state; the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. 
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted; things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind, and you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. 

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God Force by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

~ abridged version, by Sonny Carroll ~

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “The Awakening

  1. The Divine Mrs M

    Hi Kate….
    Ye know? in Britain, the unenlightened amongst us dont look on self assured people with favour..
    In the pea sized brain mindset (of some folks) self assurance seems to equate with arrogance….
    Nowadays more and more, I see people only out for themselves, to further "number one" and many such people would actually trample over you, to reach their desired status or goal.
    now that in my opinion is real arrogance. But of course it is possible to have a self assurance, borne not of arrogance, but of knowledge, knowledge of self, and confidence, and respect for others.
    If you start a new job, and you are given excellent training, and communication is good, what happens? it gives you confidence to do your job properly. and self assurance is created.
    So thats why its important to raise children to know that they are loved, and teach them right from wrong. Because one day they will flee the nest, equipped (or ill equipped) with the food of knowledge that they have been nourished with at home.
    ahh the ego   …evil in its most primal state.  I agree with that.
    I often think that That is the TRue mark of any man/woman.  Just how big (or little, or in-between size) their ego is!) LOL
    mags x

    Reply
  2. Stephen Craig

    Today in the USA it is Thanksgiving.  A Holiday for Family and friends to gather and celebrate the harvest.   From the fields and from the heart.
    I wish you and yours a very good Holiday Season,  As ever be well.  Stephen Craig Rowe

    Reply
  3. spice

    Nice space, Kate. Very, very nice. I must come back fo a longer look. I really just wanted to say  thanks for your comments regarding the nationality and passport dilemma. I’d never given a thought to dual nationality – I probably will go for Canadian in the end as I don’t really have much desire to return to the UK and I do feel I need to make a commitment to my adopted country.
     
    Dave

    Reply
  4. Ye Olde

    A very profund & accurate entry, one which I will read again I think.. Mags is right, there is a ME ME ME culture over here now, coupled with NOW NOW NOW.
    people wont wait, they want everything now, & some are incredibly rude if they dont get it… they certainly could do with reading this entry.
    take care,
    Woof woof x

    Reply
  5. Mei's

    Lovely Kate, really useful reading, i think it teach me a lot on how to deal with life, its a lovely read, thanks again! Mei

    Reply
  6. me

    It’s not everyday that something makes me stop and think, really think. But this has. I hope you don’t mind I have copied it and will read it again and again, whenever I feel the need for a mental push in the right direction.
    mariexx

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s