Softening & Expanding

In order to get what we want in life, we have to be willing to receive it when it appears, and in order to do that we have to be open. Often we go through life with defenses we developed early on in order to protect ourselves. These defenses act as barriers, walls we needed at one time to feel safe, but that now serve to shut out desired influences, like intimacy or love. So an essential part of being receptive to what we want is to soften these barriers enough to let those things in when they show up. For example, we may spend a lot of time alone as a way to protect ourselves from being hurt by other people, but we can see how this is now preventing us from meeting new friends.
Another obstacle to our receptivity can be our tendency to believe that we have to act aggressively in order to achieve our desired goal. This can cause us to become mono-focused and to fail to see, and be open to, opportunities on the periphery of our vision. So becoming receptive involves a softening of our defenses and a willingness to remain open to possibilities outside our immediate realm of vision. If we are looking for love or friendship, it means first looking within ourselves to see where we are shut down, and second, not getting too fixated on where we might find the love we want. In this way, we become more open as individuals and more expansive in terms of what we see as possible.
Often, the things and people we want to draw into our lives elude us because we are unconsciously blocking them out, either with our defenses, or with tunnel vision that causes us to not see them when they appear. When this is the case, we can take action by exploring and softening our barriers, and expanding our vision to encompass new possibilities. These actions are the essence of receptivity.


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3 thoughts on “Softening & Expanding

  1. Mei's

    Its a hard one for me this one, my head not with me this morning and too many big words, but I can guess most its meaning.
    In my case i did thinking very hard with myself recently, can I managed myself living on my own? can I cope with my bipolar friend, i love my family very much, but I’m not happy in granddad’s house, but hubby want to stay with him more than me, sometimes i think they just really use me as free servant like my boss said to me before. Sorry Kate, I just couldn’t help it, don’t mean to mention in here. Have a good week. Mei

  2. Suki x

    Hi Kate
    more good advise here, my thoughts go out to Mei and the challenges she has to deal with in her life, nothing is easy for her and yet she strives to make the best of it and looks forward to resolving problems, warm love and hugs to her!!
    Warm love and hugs to you too Kate
    Love Suki x
    PS Not forgetting Kenny x lol


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